Take a Break & Heal

Grab a Java. Find a seat. &, sip on some of this pipin’ HOT tea!

In January, I only thought the best could happen in 2023. I told myself that was all that it was going to be an amazing year–possibly the best that I have ever had! While it started that way, I quickly found this to be completely false. The last weekend of March was an eventful one for me. My ministry was able to pull off our first men’s retreat. While living on a “holy high” from that event, tragedy struck. This resulted in burying my mother, resigning from my role, and relocating to my home state.

The past four months have been filled with a transitional journey of varying highs and lows. I have experienced moments of pure joy, followed by moments of stress, and ending with moments of rage, anger, and grief. Most importantly, I have learned to recognize my feelings, embrace all of the moments, and to work through them one minute at a time. My grieving journey does not look like anyone else that I know. It has been tailored to me. I have found solace in the Word, in music, in binging my mom’s favorite shows, and in reading my mother’s prayer journals. While that may seem difficult to some, I have found it to be quite comforting in moments when I want to call/facetime her, hear her voice, or simply have her yell at me.

Losing a mother has been one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. For the life of me, I never could have seen this day coming! I am ever grateful for the 49 years that God let her live on this Earth, 29 of them along with me. We experienced plenty of highs, lows, laughs, cries, and everything in between. She was blessed to enjoy all three of my kids and see pieces of herself in her granddaughter. While I hate that she is not here with us, I know that we will aim to keep her memory alive and make her proud!

To anyone going through grief, here’s a couple of things I have learned in my newfound grieving process:

1. There is no timeline on healing. Heal in your own time and your own way. Only you can determine what works for you. I took the entire summer to get myself “together” and prioritize my wellbeing. This helped me to focus on my family, as well as ensuring that I took the proper steps to me “right” and set a foundation for what healing looks like moving forward.

2. Having a support circle is key! Be open to help and support from those who are willing to be there for you. You will be surprised by those who step in to help, even when the funeral is done and you’re left to deal with the aftermath. To those who are there in these key “aftermath moments”, let them be!

3. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable about what’s going on with you. I am used to keeping a “face” on for everyone around me so that no one can see the hurt and pain. Unfortunately, this was more damaging to me than I realized. During this process, I learned to be honest and upfront about what was going on. I found that many people respected me for it.

4. Last, but not least, TRUST GOD! With God, I can do all things (Philippians 4:13). I remember that each day I must lean on and trust God. I cannot make it through this without him. I also trust that he has perfect timing and ensures that the proper people and resources are available to me right when I need them.

If you are going through a grief journey of any kind, hold to those four tips above. And, discover other things that may work for you. I promise, you will make it out on the other side of the storm!

With Love,

Jalesha

IG: @javaandteawithjtd

javaandteawithjtd@gmail.com