W.O.W: My Little Sister Isn’t So Little Anymore

For my first W.O.W (Wednesday’s Outstanding Womxn), here’s a public letter to my little sister, Justice E. Turner:

“BusBus,

As you know, I was born as the ‘center of attention’; so, it was extremely hard for me to accept that I had to share the spotlight with a little sister. You entered this world on July 10, 1995 around 7PM. I guess God saw fit for me to be an older sister *insert hair flip*. We were yin & yang.

I had the personality that loved talking to anyone, while you rarely talked. [but, somehow you ended up doing quite a bit of talking with your hands *inserts side eye*]

I was loud, emotionally expressive, and free-spirited; however, you remained calm (except when mad), quiet, and collected.

I preferred feminine clothing, while you were okay coolin’ in basketball shorts and tennis shoes.

We both loved to sing, but you would often allow me to take solos and the lead.

We both played sports growing up, but you often tended to be a bit better than I was (although my younger self would never admit it).

As kids, it was easy to try and be a great example for you. However, as we got older, this responsibility became harder. I could feel a lot of pressure coming upon me while trying to ‘save face’. I tried to not project my fears and hurt onto you; but, somehow I did all of this unknowingly.

I wanted nothing but the best for each of you, especially you as the ‘baby girl’. I wanted you to be better than I ever could be, which is why I pushed you so hard. I will admit that there were times that I probably almost pushed you ‘over the edge’. However, I like to think that some of that contributed to the woman that you are becoming.

Unfortunately, for you, I didn’t discover how big your heart was until we were adults. You loved me and your brother that you stepped up in a way that neither of us could. Fresh out of college, you put your life on pause to be a full-time caregiver for our mother after her life-altering stroke. And, anytime I called, you were present in your nephew’s life. You were there for many of the little things and ALL of the big things! While all of your siblings were able to navigate their lives and experience their dreams and goals, you were experiencing regret, un-appreciation, resentment, and probably other feelings that you never named. Many times, you didn’t even advocate for yourself. You took on a burden without a word. Even then, you continued to push through each and every day for you and for mom. Over the course of a few weeks, you had switched roles with your own mother. But, this was not the end for you.

YOU GOT YOUR GROOVE BACK...WELL SORTA!

After dedicating a whole year to being your mom’s primary caregiver, you got the motivation to go to graduate school. While there, you tried your best to live your life; but, you still felt pressured to be home for every little thing….which could possibly be that you were only 25 minutes away from home.

For four long semesters, you studied your butt off, while also working a graduate assistantship and a part-time job! Well, madam, all of your hard work paid off! On December 12, 2020, you received your Master of Education in Educational Leadership with a Student Personnel Concentration from East Tennessee State University. And, to make it even better, you had a 4.0 cumulative GPA. [Meaning, she’s adding a few letters to her name, ‘M.Ed.’]

YAASSSSS!

While I couldn’t be there in-person to shower you with congratulations, I was super proud of you!

1. You were joining me in the field of Student Affairs.

2. My little sister continued to further her education beyond one college degree.

3. You didn’t allow a ‘comma’ in your life to be a ‘period’.

Justice, I know that you don’t hear it enough, but you truly are a remarkable woman! You have been through so many of life’s obstacles throughout your 25 years of life; but, you have not let that stop you from getting up each day and pushing forward in life. I admire your strength and willingness to always put your family on your back.

I love you!

I am sooo proud of you!

I look forward to where God will take you in this lifetime.

Also, I want you to take a few moments to be selfish. Put yourself first. YOU DESERVE IT!

And, I hope that you will allow me to continue to play all of the roles alongside you: a ride-or-die, big sister, cheerleader, confidant, ‘second mother’, friend, and more.

Now that you have more free time than you know what to do with, I hope that you take the opportunity to enjoy all of the precious moments that life provides in the way that you want!

With Love,

Jalesha”

IG: @javaandteawithjtd

javaandteawithjtd@gmail.com

Photo Credits: Torii Smith and NaRasha Turner